Expecting the Worst

We've all seen this movie scene countless times: A woman is walking down a dark alley in the middle of a big city. Suddenly, a huge shadow appears. She turns around. There is a menacing man behind her. We immediately think of the ways this scene could play out: the woman will be raped, mugged, or hurt by the creepy man.

Why don't we ever think that the man is going to help the woman - maybe ask her if she is lost or if he could buy her a cup of coffee? The answer is simple: from the time we are children, we are told not to trust anyone but our family or our babysitters. For our entire lives, we have been taught that we shouldn't talk to strangers because they might hurt us.

In "Black Men and Public Space," Brent Staples depicts the different reactions that he has gotten due to his gender, size, and race. As a big black man, Staples has, on multiple occasions, been thought of as dangerous by strangers. For example, people that he has encountered have "[run] in earnest" (Staples 205) away from him and "[hammered] down the door locks" (Staples 205). He admits that he "often [sees] women who fear the worst from [him]" (Staples 206), but he is "a softy who is scarcely able to take a knife to a raw chicken -- let alone hold one to a person's throat" (Staples 205).  You can't feel anything but sympathy for this man who people are assuming is a bad guy.

As a society, we always expect the worst. From test scores to new experiences, we frequently think of the most unfavorable scenario.  But what would happen if we let go of our negative expectations and replaced them with positive thoughts? Maybe instead of letting stereotypes occupy our minds, we can actually get to know the people that we have these ridiculous thoughts about. That way, we wouldn't be assuming things about people that we don't know.

(This video from SoulPancake is a great example of people from various backgrounds and of various ages getting to know people who they probably never would have approached. However, as you can see, the people find similarities between themselves and learn new things about their new friends.)